Wed 1 Apr 2009
Every year for GDC, I have the pleasure of working with Eric Zimmerman on planning the rant session (which was totally awesome, BTW). This year, instead of a co-moderating role Eric suggested I do a mini rant regarding my departure from IGDA. A chance to blow off some steam in a fiery farewell.
Not feeling particularly vengeful, I twisted the rant more into an apology to the development community. Here’s roughly what I said (though, do recall that the context of the rant is especially performative and is intended to be in your face (you should hear what others had to say)):
Serving the IGDA for the past 9 years has been extremely rewarding and challenging. I helped to get a lot done, but somehow feel that I failed the community.
Sorry for being too focused on the nuts and bolts, with my head down in execution. I just didn’t spend enough time on the big picture vision stuff. It’s scary, and easy to avoid when you’re just “busy” doing stuff.
Sorry for not having the leadership skills to beat the barriers of participation inequality. Less than 1% of the IGDA membership are truly active in driving the org forward. Sorry for not doing a better job building up a strong pipeline of community leaders and volunteers. Sorry for not overcoming your general apathy and laziness.
Sorry for not doing a better job of roping in all the snipers from the sidelines. Turns out you are all pretty damn good at bitching and complaining and being critical. But then you don’t actually do anything about it and you don’t get involved. Sorry for not bringing critics under the tent and getting them to work at improving things.
Sorry for not getting you to be more serious about the profession of game development. You are no longer a bunch of hacks. This is a real art and science. We need to be way more deliberate and control the path the profession takes as it evolves into the future.
Most of all, sorry for not doing more to help you realize your power! Both, collectively as a profession to tackle industry issues, and as creators of culture. You are all having a massive impact on society. You are transforming the world day-by-day without even realizing it.
Oh well, f* you, it’s not my job anymore!
Sorry.
April 1st, 2009 at 7:09 pm
Well said!
April 2nd, 2009 at 2:24 am
if this is real, then it is awesome. If it’s an April Fools, it’s still awesome
April 2nd, 2009 at 5:58 am
Ha, didn’t even realize it was April 1st… This is real. You can find the recording of the whole rant panel on the internets… Though, the text above is mainly from my notes, and I may have done some impromptu flourishes during the actual delivery ;)
Jason
April 2nd, 2009 at 8:26 am
It’s rants like this that give the sidelines their fuel to power up off the couch and get things done in their own outposts, albeit for a brief moment! Rant on my friend!!
April 2nd, 2009 at 11:33 am
So unfortunate that this is so true, it would be nice to think words like this can give us in the industry a kick in the right direction!
April 2nd, 2009 at 3:48 pm
Oh man, if this were me, the interweb would be ablaze by now. lol!
Anyway, thanks for all you’ve done for the org J!! Talk soon.
cheers
- DS
April 2nd, 2009 at 6:37 pm
LMAO - Jason - I really love the fact that you turned this into an apology. I believe this is the curse of anyone who tries to build an organization made up of creative individuals and this more aptly mirrors society at large. Everyone likes to complain but most do not have the fortitude to do anything about it. You have my vote Barrack Della Rocca, you will succeed in what ever you decide to pursue.
April 3rd, 2009 at 11:01 am
Hehe, love it. The truth can be hilarious at times. The “hacks” part is pure genius.
“It’s hard being a hack. I mean if it’s wasn’t, everyone would be doing it.”
April 3rd, 2009 at 11:05 am
Jason, 3 yrs ago you offered me the chance to stop sniping and step up. I ran for the board, got elected and spent 3 productive years with you laying the foundation for the modern IGDA. I am now hooked on being involved with causes I believe in. So I can clearly state that you had at least 1 success! :D
I really doubt I am the only one moved by your passion and boundless energy.
April 4th, 2009 at 1:17 am
Jason, would you rather be a failure at something you love or a success at something you hate? Besides, increasing IGDA membership 30 times over isn’t half bad. :)
April 4th, 2009 at 5:41 pm
Shut the fuck up.
April 4th, 2009 at 10:43 pm
Jason,
Thank you.
Thank you so much. I’ve spent the better part of this year (and the majority of my time at GDC) demanding, in my amateurish way, a higher level of integrity from the industry as a whole.
We can no longer pretend that we’re just making inconsequential toys. We have to acknowledge the power that our medium has to change the way players deal with reality.
Detour: For the longest time, I was crippled by a tendency to see the world as an immutable constant that I just had to deal with. I never acknowledged my own ability to change my environment for the better, primarily because the games I grew up with had presented me with only the most limited range of choices. This was natural; games had yet to advance to the point of creating true possibility spaces. But the fact remains that THE WAY I SAW THE WORLD had been shaped by the games that I played.
That is a terrifying amount of power, and it stands to reason that no other art form can reach into someone’s head and reprogram his preconceptions the way a game can.
We’re past this power fantasy garbage. We’re past escapism. We’re past damsels in distress and worlds teetering on the brink of apocalypse. We can make games that affect our players in tangible, positive ways. If we had the courage, we could craft an experience that would inspire an aimless young man to follow his passion, pull a timid child out of his shell long enough to ask out that girl he likes at school, or give an insecure woman the strength to rise above her fears and hold her head high, all because we made a possibility space where those behaviors grant victory.
I’m a total newcomer to this industry, but I can’t tell you how inspiring it is to hear the words of someone with far more experience who also believes in these things. We have to do better.
I’ve spent a lot of time being terrified that my youthful hubris would turn out to be misplaced; that I’d dive headlong into the world of game development only to find that there was some deep, dark secret that maintains the status quo and renders this kind of progress impossible. I was perpetually afraid that some industry veteran would take me aside and explain that I was being unreasonable, throwing my ambition to the wind and proving once and for all that I’m just too big for my britches.
Instead, I hear this, and I am emboldened. I am grateful to see the same passion from someone in your position, and I am not exaggerating when I say that I have every intention of delivering on the promise that this medium holds, or I will whither away in the process.
You are the man, Jason.
April 5th, 2009 at 1:27 am
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April 5th, 2009 at 4:17 am
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April 6th, 2009 at 12:54 pm
Yeah, too bad you couldn’t make IGDA not suck. In my experience, local IGDA chapter meetings are more of a fan club than a meeting of actual developers. I find it disappointing if not aggravating. Professionals in my area have had to resort to private gatherings.
April 6th, 2009 at 2:21 pm
Optimist: Some chapters are old boys’ clubs, treating new entrants, hobbyists, and those looking to break into the industry with scorn and derision. The problem with chapters are that they’re all run mostly independently by the communities existing in the area around the chapter, rather than top-down by the command of the board of directors. It is rather aggravating to have a chapter which has devolved to rampant fanboyism, or excessive snobbery, or just plain run by the chapter committee without much input from the community it’s supposed to serve.
You know what you could do, though, besides complaining impotently about it? GET ON THE CHAPTER COMMITTEE. Plan some decent educational and networking events. Figure out ways to cut down on the fanboyism, without turning everything upside down into an elitist gathering. Get the pros who ran away back into the show by offering them the chance to run panels and workshops for your chapter gatherings, and do things like that rather than the traditional bar schmooze-fest.
And engage the people in your chapter. Talk to the fanboy types and let them know that their behaviour isn’t helping them any. Explain the importance of proper professional behaviour for networking.
Just do something about it, don’t simply complain.
April 6th, 2009 at 2:35 pm
I love snobbism. Didn’t most people in the game industry start out as fanboys and are fanboys still at heart. True answer — yes! And if you are not, why are you here? Go be a banker instead.
Now that I’ve brought up bankers — Top down run organizations end up like our banking industry.. bailed out by the bottom little people taxpayers so that isn’t the answer either.
Truth is the IGDA organization is growing just fine. It has a balance of large industry and small independents and gasp most are still fanboys at heart underneath the sneers. Good for them.
I hope Jason gets a needed rest, goes and plays a good game, and gets refreshed by his inner fanboy. Here’s to you Jason :)
April 6th, 2009 at 3:28 pm
I’m sorry I didn’t get to say goodbye to you at GDC apart from saying hello with a brief handshake at one point.
From my very short time in the IGDA, you were the one person who helped by far the most in any endeavour I asked about. I’d have not joined any SIG’s or been willing to help as much as I am without your own help.
I would love to see you stay on as an IGDA member and catch you properly at other events in the future :) It’d be still inspiring to me personally, but in any case, if you can’t, then I hope you utterly enjoy your new consulting business :) If you put half the work you did into the IGDA, you’ll be plain sailing.
I honestly don’t know who will be able to replace you.
April 8th, 2009 at 9:27 am
Well Ranted!
Well Timed!
Well Received!
Well Respected!
Well Wishes!
Well Done!
well Hell….
April 9th, 2009 at 3:30 am
Just found this on Kotaku, Jason we’ll all miss you very much. Thanks for the work you’ve done and I look forward to hearing from you again soon.
Gary
Shanghai
April 9th, 2009 at 12:22 pm
lol.. that guy is a douchebag.
happy hes gone.
April 11th, 2009 at 2:13 am
Ha, also just now discovering this, and wishing I’d caught it in person. Such a large “amen” from here. ;)
April 13th, 2009 at 12:17 am
f* you too! Go to hell!”
April 14th, 2009 at 11:14 pm
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April 19th, 2009 at 11:33 am
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January 14th, 2010 at 4:39 pm
[…] the one we’ve found to exist at Rockstar San Diego. I think Jason Della Rocca, in his “Apology Rant” upon stepping down from Executive Director of the IGDA last year, said it best: “Sorry […]